retiring sh*t

its 6 am and i’ve been up since 1am. i’m tired of shooting with my digital camera. i want to try something new and disconnect myself from social media and how addicting it is.  

ive decided to put away my digital camera and shoot in film. i have 2 perfectly working film cameras and since at this moment i have money to buy a lot of film, i can spend my entire summer just shooting in film. what made me want to do this is the idea of instant gratification. i got it my entire life and honestly i’m not used to working for shit that i want. i’m not used to practicing and letting myself grow. thought out my life i’ve been told i was so smart. so i thought i could do anything and be good at it immediately. i really want to enjoy photography and art and let this be as stress free as possible. i guess i’ll take myself less seriously.

lately i’m in that “making art i don’t like” hole again. it’s becoming frustrating. i’ve shot with someone who didn’t understand my work and as i looked over the photos i absolutely hated them. this is the second time this happened and i was so upset. i wish there was a way to let people know that, if you don’t understand my work, the look i’m trying to achieve (really i already achieved it honestly) or if you need me to give you a moodboard, then don’t shoot with me.  

im just tired of having to explain myself. 

well here’s to new beginnings sis.  

 

i also REALLY want to quit my job :-/